Fathers often play an important role in the family. Society sees them as leaders. Children often see them as someone to look up to, or someone building a path for them to follow and one day lead. Often missing in the dynamic of children in foster care is not only normalcy, but that figure to look up to. Of course, some foster families step up to the plate. But as many of us know, it's not always easy to give a child that attention. Many of our children lacked that fatherly role before coming into care. This is why having male advocates is so vital to the future and the growth of children in care. Many times, they are often the only male role model a child currently has or ever had. Having that male role model helps restore faith to those children in care that there are men in this world that they can trust. No matter the role played, just the presence of a male CASA can change the dynamic of a child's future. We have advocates who have become like a father, grandfather, and even like a friend because that advocate chose to be a presence in a child's life. Being there to listen, guiding them to make their own decisions, giving insight on life based on their experiences and just showing them that somebody cared. It's not always about showing your strength, or showing what you can do, but showing up and showing that you care can show a child a new future.
We’ve asked a few of our male advocates, Mark Skaggs, Eric Salting, and Jay Wilson, to chime in on how important male advocacy and a positive male role model is to the children we serve in our county.
CASA: What first caused you to get involved with CASA?
Mark Skaggs: I’ve never been blessed with children of my own but have felt strongly that all responsible adults should be involved in some way with the formation of children and youth in our community. I’ve always wondered how I could best make a positive impact. I heard about CASA in 2021 and knew that was the role for me. I went through all the training, and I was hooked.
Jay Wilson: I decided that I needed to get involved in the community and make a positive impact. I wanted to find an organization that had a big need and made a big impact. Before I chose CASA I had supported some other organizations but found that they had plenty of volunteers and the need for my support was not critical. When I heard about CASA I attended an information session and realized that there were around 500 children currently without a CASA Advocate and then when I became aware of the impact that an Advocate has in a child’s life I decided that CASA was where I needed to focus my efforts.
CASA: Why do you think it’s important to have a positive male role model?
Eric: It's important for children to see examples of both good/loving males and females. It is also important for men to get involved where they can make a difference. Studies show service leads to long term happiness.
Mark: Far too many homes do not have a responsible father or father figure in children’s lives. Children in these homes are hungering for a responsible adult male that they can look to as a model for guidance and support and know that they can rely on them to be there for them.
Jay: I think that boys need a positive male role model to lead them by example. You can tell someone what they should do but if you show someone how they should act and behave it has a bigger influence on them. It is also important that a boy has a male role model that he can talk to and that can teach him the skills he needs to interact socially with other boys and girls. Education and sports are two focus points that are critical in a young boy’s life.
CASA: Why do you think there is a high need for male advocates?
Mark: The ratio of CASA advocates is tilted heavily toward women volunteers. With foster boys in particular, male advocates can readily connect with them more closely through sports and games and can build a level of trust to have deeper conversations on the critical topics of life, school, friends, and right from wrong.
Jay: I think recruitment and retention are two areas that are a challenge when it comes to male advocates, which drives the high need. Men don’t typically volunteer at the same rate as women, which makes recruitment a challenge. And men often come from a work environment in which they provide direction and there is immediate action/change. Nurturing and influencing children require time and patience which can have an impact on the retention rate.
CASA: What keeps you coming back to help the kids we serve in our county?
Mark: These kids are so resilient. Given the trauma they’ve come from, seeing them grow their confidence and ability, and to begin trusting again, and to smile and laugh, witnessing these life victories is so gratifying. As a CASA, it is a privilege to be a small part of their journey.
Jay: There is nothing better that you can do than to help a Kid overcome trauma, let them know that they are valued and, as a result, help them become a productive citizen in the community. That’s what a CASA Advocate can be in a child’s life. I have advocated for kids of all ages ranging from four to 18 years old and I have had a positive impact on all of them. They still have challenges to overcome but CASA is a positive influence in their lives when they need it most.
CASA: If you are currently working: Between your personal and professional life, how do you balance a career, a personal life, and advocating for children?
Eric: Is it possible to work full time and help children in foster care? I work full time, go to school, travel for work and am a single father. I've found that the time needed to make a difference is not substantial and much more rewarding than other ways I have spent my time (binge watching TV, watching sports, etc.). Also, by having an open conversation with my family and friends about the time commitment, they are supportive of my work with CASA and help free up time by taking on responsibilities so I can dedicate myself to the child/case.