Sounds and smells can sometimes take you back to a single memory - sometimes to a loving and wonderful place, other times scary and traumatic.
As I shopped at my neighborhood grocery one day, I bopped down aisles enjoying the 90’s tunes that floated through the store’s sound system. Then that song played. It made me pause as I transported back to my 8th grade summer camp. I could vividly see the faces of my camp besties; hear the camp counselors trying to corral groups of rowdy thirteen-year olds to move to their next activity. I could smell the stench of chlorine from the pool fighting, and the various aromas from the Great Hall. Memories of carefree fun flooded over me - faces that were long forgotten and moments that were hidden under years of living.
Just as the whiff of a familiar perfume can remind you of that favorite auntie that always had a special treat for you in her purse, or the quiet chorus of Silent Night overwhelms you with memories from a favorite Christmas; certain sounds, scents, and events can trigger powerful memories of traumatic experiences from your childhood. Although we think we’ve forgotten those memories that once were part of who we were, the truth is, whether good or bad, those events are still with us - impacting who we are and how we function as adults.
Witnessing abuse in childhood can have a lasting impact on children. Children are often the hidden, silent victims of intimate partner violence (IPV). These children that witness IPV are more likely to experience neglect, emotional abuse, and physical abuse themselves. According to The Journal of Injury and Violence, they reported children who experience the trauma of witnessing domestic violence exhibit higher rates of cognitive, psychological, and emotional challenges. Witnessing violence impacted these children short-term by being affected with: anxiety, increased aggression, sleeplessness, nightmares, poor performance in school, low self-esteem, and trouble making friends. Similarly, long-term impacts that carry into adulthood include: increased risk for depression, anxiety, diabetes, obesity, heart disease, low self-esteem, PTSD, and other problems.
Perhaps the most significant result of witnessing abuse is the increase risk of continuing the cycle of abuse into their own relationships. According to a study conducted by UNICEF, growing up in a home where there is domestic violence is the single best predicator of whether a child will become either a perpetrator or a victim of domestic violence later in life. Hard evidence establishes that boys who witness abuse in the home are ten times more likely to abuse their female partners as an adult. Oppositely, girls are more than six times likely to be sexually assaulted and abused as adults.
There is hope. There is healing. While it is difficult to hear how abuse can impact the lives of children during their youth, and even more difficult to know how it can continue to negatively affect their lives well into adulthood - there is hope! Although they may never forget the pain they went through, they can learn coping mechanisms and new ways of managing their emotions that will aide them through adulthood. Interventions in childhood and adolescence can counter those traumatic experiences and reduce the negative effects of witnessing abuse. These interventions, such as individual and group therapy, can help children process their emotions and learn positive skills to manage their feelings, deal with stressors, and resolve conflict. Trusted friends, like a CASA volunteer, provide a safe place and opportunities for them to be themselves, build confidence, and assist in their social development. Also necessary, is a solid circle of adults they can trust to help them rebuild confidence in themselves. These adults should understandably provide a safe place for them to express their feelings and support them while they navigate the normal woes of adolescence. These positive experiences and safe places provide joy-filled moments and plant seeds of hope that create lasting memories and opportunities.
CASA Court Appointed Special Advocate) provides safe, stable adults to advocate for the best interest of children in foster care. When children have been removed because of IPV, CASA’s first concern is their physical safety. Once assured they are in a safe foster or relative home, a CASA then shifts to their mental health, addressing the traumas they endured before they came into care. The CASA can also provide support for the parents and identify resources for them to continue their journey toward safety and healing as well. While witnessing violence at an early age is traumatic, a CASA will recommend children receive trauma-informed counseling to process and cope with those memories.
Hopefully, in their future, their memories of hope and healing will outweigh their traumas and lead them on a path that breaks the cycle of family violence.
Nichole Masters-Henry is a board member of CASA of Tarrant County and is the Chief Services Officer at SafeHaven. In this role, she oversees the entire agency’s victim services – from shelter to counseling and long-term housing, to hotline and assessment.
If you’d like to be an advocate for abused and neglected children, sign up for an Information Session at https://www.speakupforachild.org/become-an-advocate.